Alright, here’s a blog post crafted in the Big Guy on Stuff style for DearCEO.wtf.
Your Problem Isn’t Their Problem… Until It Is.
You ever get that feeling? The one where you’re stuck in a customer service loop that was clearly designed by someone who hates people. You’ve been on hold for 45 minutes, you’ve explained your problem to three different people and one chatbot named “Steve,” and you are no closer to a solution than when you started.
It’s infuriating.
I had an issue with my internet a while back before we had options on internet providers here. Constant drops. The kind that only happens when you’re in the middle of something important. I called the company, and they walked me through the same script. “Did you unplug it and plug it back in?” Yes, genius, I did that before I sacrificed my lunch break to call you. They scheduled a technician for a week out.
The technician never showed. No call, no email, nothing.
So I called back. More hold music. A new person who had none of the previous notes. I had to start all over. I could feel my blood pressure climbing. This company I pay hundreds of dollars to every year was treating my problem like a mild inconvenience they could safely ignore.
Because to them, it was. My little problem wasn’t affecting their bottom line. The person on the other end of that phone is just trying to get through their shift. They have no power. They just have a script. You and I, we aren’t the customer. We’re the ticket number.
For years, the only way out of this mess was something called the Executive Email Carpet Bomb. It was a pain, but it worked. You’d spend hours digging through corporate websites and LinkedIn trying to find the email addresses for VPs, Directors, maybe even the CEO. Then you’d write a very polite, very firm email explaining your problem and send it to all of them at once.
Suddenly, you weren’t just a ticket number. You were a problem that landed on the desk of someone whose bonus depends on things not being on fire. Magically, you’d get a call from someone in the “Office of the President” who could actually fix things.
It was effective, but it was a ton of work.
Well, I stumbled onto something that does the work for you. It’s a tool for guys like us who are fed up with the runaround.
It’s called DearCEO.wtf.
The name says it all. It’s a webapp that resurrects the spirit of the old carpet bomb but makes it dead simple. You go to the site, and you tell it your problem in plain English. “My internet is broken, your tech was a no-show, and your support team is useless.”
Then the magic happens. It uses AI to write a professional, well-worded email for you. (As someone who built an AI-powered customer support tool called Trigli, I can tell you firsthand that AI is getting really good at this kind of communication.) It’s not angry, it’s not whiny. It’s a clean, direct letter that clearly explains the issue, the failure of their standard process, and what you expect to happen.
But here’s the best part. It then goes and finds the email addresses of the high-level executives at that company. The people who can actually get things done. It packages it all up, and you just have to send it.
You’re no longer screaming into the void of a customer support line. You’re putting your problem directly in front of the people whose job it is to worry about customer satisfaction and brand reputation.
Your problem becomes their problem. And that’s when things get fixed.
What a Good CEO Complaint Email Looks Like
DearCEO.wtf drafts the email for you. But if you want to understand why the format works, or you decide to write one yourself, here’s what needs to be in it.
The subject line is where most people lose before they even start. Something like “I am very upset with your company” gets treated like noise by whoever screens the executive inbox. The formula that actually clears the filter is this: [Company Name] Account #XXXX: [What Went Wrong], [What I Need] by [Date]. Specific. Boring. Clinical. That’s the point. It reads like something that came from someone who knows what they’re doing, not someone having a meltdown.
Your opening sentence is one line: who you are, what account is at risk, and why you’re not calling the 800 number again. Three to four sentences of facts follow, in chronological order. Not feelings. Not “I can’t believe this is happening.” Just the dates, the case numbers, the no-shows. The paper trail written flat.
The close is where you land. You tell them exactly what you need and by when. Something like: “I need this resolved by [date] or I will be filing a complaint with [CFPB / FCC / state AG, depending on the company].” Not angry. Just specific and inevitable. An executive reading a calm, documented complaint takes it a lot more seriously than a rant, because a rant looks like emotion. A dated timeline with a specific ask looks like someone who will follow through.
When the CEO Email Also Fails: Your Next Moves
Most of the time, the CEO email works. That’s the whole point. But sometimes it doesn’t, and every guide on this topic seems to treat that as a place where the advice just… stops. Nobody tells you what comes next.
Here’s what comes next, by complaint type:
Financial products and credit cards: File a complaint with the CFPB at consumerfinance.gov/complaint. Companies are required to respond within 15 days. The CFPB keeps the response on file and publishes complaint data publicly, which is the part companies actually hate. This is the nuclear option for banks, lenders, credit card issuers, and debt collectors.
Telecom, cable, and internet providers: File with the FCC at consumercomplaints.fcc.gov. My old ISP nightmare? This is exactly the kind of thing the FCC complaint system was built for. ISPs take FCC complaints seriously because the FCC has real enforcement power, and a complaint creates a formal record.
Airlines: File with the DOT at airconsumer.dot.gov. The Department of Transportation tracks airline complaints and requires airlines to respond. If your flight was delayed, your bag was lost, or you got bumped with no resolution, this is where that complaint goes.
General retail and pretty much any company: Your state attorney general’s consumer protection office. Every state has one, most have an online form, and companies that operate in your state are subject to your state’s consumer protection laws. Google “[your state] attorney general consumer complaint” and you’ll find it in under 30 seconds.
Fraudulent charges or non-delivery: Credit card chargeback. Not for “I didn’t like it,” but for “they charged me and didn’t deliver what I paid for.” Call your card issuer, say you want to dispute a charge, and explain why. The card network then puts the burden back on the merchant to prove they delivered.
None of these are fun. The CEO email is genuinely faster. But if you’ve tried that and gotten nowhere, you now have a ladder to climb, not a dead end.
Stop wasting your time on hold. If you’ve got a legitimate issue and you’re getting stonewalled, give them a reason to listen. It’s time to email the CEO and get things moving. Check it out.
