Alright, here’s a blog post crafted in the Big Guy on Stuff style for DearCEO.wtf.
Your Problem Isn’t Their Problem… Until It Is.
You ever get that feeling? The one where you’re stuck in a customer service loop that was clearly designed by someone who hates people. You’ve been on hold for 45 minutes, you’ve explained your problem to three different people and one chatbot named “Steve,” and you are no closer to a solution than when you started.
It’s infuriating.
I had an issue with my internet a while back before we had options on internet providers here. Constant drops. The kind that only happens when you’re in the middle of something important. I called the company, and they walked me through the same script. “Did you unplug it and plug it back in?” Yes, genius, I did that before I sacrificed my lunch break to call you. They scheduled a technician for a week out.
The technician never showed. No call, no email, nothing.
So I called back. More hold music. A new person who had none of the previous notes. I had to start all over. I could feel my blood pressure climbing. This company I pay hundreds of dollars to every year was treating my problem like a mild inconvenience they could safely ignore.
Because to them, it was. My little problem wasn’t affecting their bottom line. The person on the other end of that phone is just trying to get through their shift. They have no power. They just have a script. You and I, we aren’t the customer. We’re the ticket number.
For years, the only way out of this mess was something called the Executive Email Carpet Bomb. It was a pain, but it worked. You’d spend hours digging through corporate websites and LinkedIn trying to find the email addresses for VPs, Directors, maybe even the CEO. Then you’d write a very polite, very firm email explaining your problem and send it to all of them at once.
Suddenly, you weren’t just a ticket number. You were a problem that landed on the desk of someone whose bonus depends on things not being on fire. Magically, you’d get a call from someone in the “Office of the President” who could actually fix things.
It was effective, but it was a ton of work.
Well, I stumbled onto something that does the work for you. It’s a tool for guys like us who are fed up with the runaround.
It’s called DearCEO.wtf.
The name says it all. It’s a webapp that resurrects the spirit of the old carpet bomb but makes it dead simple. You go to the site, and you tell it your problem in plain English. “My internet is broken, your tech was a no-show, and your support team is useless.”
Then the magic happens. It uses AI to write a professional, well-worded email for you. It’s not angry, it’s not whiny. It’s a clean, direct letter that clearly explains the issue, the failure of their standard process, and what you expect to happen.
But here’s the best part. It then goes and finds the email addresses of the high-level executives at that company. The people who can actually get things done. It packages it all up, and you just have to send it.
You’re no longer screaming into the void of a customer support line. You’re putting your problem directly in front of the people whose job it is to worry about customer satisfaction and brand reputation.
Your problem becomes their problem. And that’s when things get fixed.
Stop wasting your time on hold. If you’ve got a legitimate issue and you’re getting stonewalled, give them a reason to listen. Check it out.
